Being new to having my daughter around all the time is becoming a daily exercise in trust. She grew up in a small town with her mother who was very controlling, probably due to only having one child and wanting to protect her from anything and everything. But you cannot do that her whole life, let alone during the teen years. As a parent you have to take that leap of faith and trust that you have shown them good examples of how to be responsible and accountable for one's own actions. I'm not sure where I am getting the resolve to do this when I know if anything bad happened that I would most likely end up underground. I've been told this in so many words.
When I was asked to allow a boy/girl party with a 'girls only' sleep over component where alcohol was going to be present/consumed I was a little stunned even though I knew this was coming considering she is in high school and has friends that are of varying ages. I think I was more stunned by the honesty and disclosure than anything. What followed was a short discussion (you don't want to drone on and on with teens or it seems like you are preaching to them) about consumption limits, comfort levels and assurances that she had no interest in actually getting drunk, just being part of the group. I get it.
Enter the leap, she attended, she partook in less alcohol than was allowed (according to her report but I tend to believe her since she showed no signs of a hangover) and even responded to random texts from me throughout the evening. Upon later reports, other kids got drunk and she had fun watching them try to convince each other that they weren't drunk at all, things got knocked over, people fell down and spin the bottle was in play without my daughter participating. All in all it sounds like everything worked out and my trust was not misplaced.
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