It doesn't matter if you were a couple for almost a decade or for less than 24 months, you have brought your own friends into the relationship and made new ones as a couple. So who gets which friends when you breakup?
Obviously the friends you had before will still be your friends after, right? In most cases that will be the case. :P But sometimes you accidentally 'steal' friends from your ex without consciously doing it. It all depends on how close you've become with their friends over the course of your relationship and that you may have more in common with them than the now ex. These friends may not 'take sides' but tend to spend more time with you than the person they knew first. Which is all good if you are not bad-mouthing your ex to them constantly. Even if they don't see them much, it's just really bad form and won't help you move on.
This brings us to the shared friends who have not 'chosen sides' in the breakup, these are the best friends that you could both have. These friends will be true to both you and your ex and tend to have an objective POV, which keeps your bitter and broken-hearted attitude in check. I suggest you foster these friendships after any relationship ending because it will help you heal faster and make it easier to stay friendly with the ex since you will be seeing them around these common friends. It's really awkward if you cut these friends off and then run into them later. You get labeled the 'bad guy' when all you really wanted was space to heal. If they are good friends to both of you, they'll give you both the space to heal.
Then there are the friends that obviously 'pick a side'. They will either just stop talking to you, removing you from all social media or go so far as saying out loud "I'm team 'NOT YOU'." This is when their true colours show. They are not objective and understanding about why the relationship ended. They want to show loyalty to the friend they knew first or are closer to and write you off as unworthy. Obviously we have some redeeming qualities that would make your friend choose to be in a relationship with us. Perhaps you are applying old fashioned principles to modern day situations? Why can't we all just get along?
In the end, people are people and they will react to a breakup based on their own experiences. They key is for us all to be mature about it and not let our emotions get in the way of healthy friendships. There doesn't have to be a division of friends, do I have to draw a venn diagram to prove it?
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