I've always known there was a communication problem between my mother and father but I never really knew how it affected everyday life and me until this particular incident.
About 8 years ago I was living with my parents (another story I'll share later) and one night my father and I bumped into each other in the kitchen while I was getting a glass of water. My dad lowers his voice and tells me to look out the window and down at the neighbour's basement window. He tells me about the new tenant in the basement apartment is a single mother but when she's alone at home she can be seen through that window in front of her computer, not wearing anything and posing. I'm told to not tell my mother but that he suspects she's doing internet porn right next door.
Two days later I'm again in the kitchen late at night when my mother checks in on me during one of her numerous bathroom breaks. She questions me as to what I'm doing, in her usual way which makes me feel guilty of something even if there is nothing and then she proceeds to tell me about the neighbour's basement tenant doing strange things in front of her computer, asking if I had seen anything and asking me not to tell my father. Good grief.
The next day I find them both in the kitchen cleaning up from a meal and I try to hold back my laughter as I tell them that they had both told me about the woman next door, her naked computer practices and how they had asked me not to tell the other. After 35 years of marriage they still found it difficult to share this information with each other and instead they both continued to confide in me. It was such a silly, small thing but it illustrates how important communication really is to a relationship. I hope we all learned something from that experience especially the part about telling me not to tell, it won't work.
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