Being a big brother is a tough job

'Only' children tend to envy that fact that I have a sibling. Even my own daughter wishes she had a brother or sister. I have to tell you that it's not easy being a big brother and having the responsibility of a younger sibling. There are obvious pro's and con's to both scenarios but I'm going to explain things from my perspective. I was almost the big brother of a sister only two years younger than me but that wasn't mean to be. Instead, my little sister came along almost three years after that, creating a larger age gap and a more challenging set of sibling dynamics.

According to sources, my sister and I were best friends before she hit puberty. I remember that we played together a lot with my cars and her dolls. There is a photo of me playing the mad organ player with her wearing headphones and the volume pushed to maximum. And sadly most of my memories are sketchy from that time period of my life so I'm basing our rapport on what I've been told. I do know that she stood up to kids at school for me when they questioned my masculinity. Mainly caused by the neighbourhood girl who I will talk about later.

Then during my sister's teen years I took on a different role, perhaps it was foisted upon me by my mother and ex-wife (then girlfriend) who thought I should be more of a father-figure. It started with ratting her out for sneaking out after curfew and escalated to advising (against my better judgment) my mother on what type of punishments were suitable for her normal teenager experimentation, which I did not go through until later in life. Spoilers. Basically a wedge was driven between us during that time of our lives that we've talked about and come to terms with but we will never forget how things could have been.

As adults, we are back to being close, having taken different paths in life yet maintaining the same basic morals and principals for which we live our lives. We often commiserate with each other about our parents, our jobs and our lives in general. It's tougher because we live so far away and have to organize any kind of sibling time at great lengths and sacrifices to our families. We tend to rely on traditional family gatherings for interaction but it's not the same as when she comes to visit her big brother in the big, bad city. I just hope she knows I'm still here for her as an older brother who still has sage advice to give as well as some growing up to do himself.