Somehow this has become my lot in life. People seem to be drawn to me who I feel are the storms in my solid hold on reality. I never understood why until now, I am their anchor. the strong and friendly harbour where they can dock for all the comforts of home, a warm bed, a hot meal and the security of my calming presence. But where does that leave me? In the eye of the storm with the fringes of their turmoil still lingering on the edges of our seemingly happy life together. Threatening fringes.
These fringes tend to come inland and rock the foundation of what I have built for myself and all that has been shared with them. When this happens I am wonder struck, as if it was unexpected. To the outside observer I am unfazed with a silent strength, not panicking and running through the town with arms flailing, crying hysterically 'why me'. What they don't see is inside I am excessively worried about keeping it all together for the sake of my loved ones who have come to depend on my stoic exterior in the face of adversity. The panic is internal, which can have even more detrimental effects on me in the end.
When does the rock get so eroded that it just falls away from it's foundation, leaving the storms to search for other places to find refuge? The trick is not letting it get to that point. The solution is finding an outlet. Well, this is one. But I could use something more physical which will release the necessary chemicals into my system to counteract the stress. The obvious answer is opening that yoga mat I was given as a Christmas gift. Seems to be inline with the whole centered theme I have going on with relationships. This rock needs centering. Ohm.
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