Out with the old, in with the new-ish

Well, well, well, here we are at the end of a most interesting year for not only me, but most of the people I know. 2011 wasn't as kind to others as expected and collectively we are not sad to see it go. It was a year of change and transition with some loose ends and other finalities. If you had a good year then kudos to you. I don't mind leaving some things behind from this year but with no fixed point in time and space to replace them, I get a little nervous. As it is, I seem to be falling back on familiar distractions to bide the time.

As you can see, I've started blogging again with the focus on me, me, me. I'm getting back into watching TV shows and movies at home, due to lack of funds. I'm playing video games again. Discovering new music is more fun with less closed-minded people around me. Most recently I'm spending time with someone special, who just might bring an end to part of this blog's mandate, pun intended. But ultimately I've spent most of my time over the later part of this year sending out resumes, making connections and even doing low paying or no paying design jobs just to stay involved. But I think I am ready for what the dragon has in store.

If I were to have learned one thing from 2011, it's adaptation. If it's two, then add patience. These two have worked in tandem to test me over and over again this year, forcing me to build up a strong, yet quietly anxious tolerance. It's nothing new to me since it seems I'm always making decisions in life that take me down this path. As much as I keep a calm exterior, I've had some low points where running away from everything sounded like a perfectly viable solution. But that's not what I want to show my daughter as the answer to any problem life throws your way.

My daughter has already been exposed to that way of thinking in terms of giving up before you've even tried and it's taken it's toll on her in more ways than she understands yet. I'm trying to set a better example for her with my perseverance and constant attitude check when it comes to looking for work and dealing with instantly becoming her sole care-giver. Ironically (or coincidentally), a song is playing with lyrics that emphasis what I'm saying: "Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own saviour." And that, my friends, is all I am going to do for a New Year's resolution, be braver, be my own saviour.