I don't care who you are, you do much better when you receive praise for your work, your actions and even that outfit you wore to last year's Holiday office party. I know that I have had a much more pleasing attitude about work when my bosses practiced positive reinforcement, pausing to applause for just a moment. My confidence would soar to new heights, leaving sprinkles of positive energy in my wake.
But what if your boss does the opposite and constantly points out your flaws and failings in front of coworkers and your own direct reports? In my experience, you wither and die inside. You stop caring about what you are doing since nothing you do is somehow worthy. Once vibrant wings turn gray and dull. Ashes of foreboding now fill the air and surround you, creating a wall of fragility that people around you are afraid to trespass for fear of getting any of that nasty stuff on them.
The same can be said about parenting and creating an environment of hope that your child is happy to come home to and spend time. I am constantly frustrated by parents who are surprised when their children behave badly after hearing how they speak so poorly to their kids, focusing on the negative without any mention of the positive. What did they expect would happen? Positive reinforcement works better than constantly pointing out failings.
Children, employees, and basically everyone looks to their 'superiors' for guidance and example. We emulate their attitudes and actions because they are supposedly of a higher position, to which we also aspire. Inspire to aspire because in life we are constantly training our replacements. Think about that one for a second, we are training our replacements in work and in life. So why would you not applaud their achievements and help them with the challenges in a more positive and productive way?
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